Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
it's hard to write
I'm basically unhappy. Not on the surface, but deep underneath.
Surface existing
necessary for survival
I'm wondering
how many people
fake happiness
existing
only to awaken
another day
Surface existing
necessary for survival
I'm wondering
how many people
fake happiness
existing
only to awaken
another day
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
receiving
love takes form in all kinds of places
or is that
love takes place in all kinds of forms
basically
love takes
and gives
recycling
is the way
of life
and death
like closing
opens doors
there is always
waiting more
or is that
love takes place in all kinds of forms
basically
love takes
and gives
recycling
is the way
of life
and death
like closing
opens doors
there is always
waiting more
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
kisses from childhood
How is it kisses from our youth imprint for life?
I've met several nice men over the last 5 years, all of whom I sent away. Let me right now apologize to all who relate.
It's a strange phenomenon when we want what we can't have. Being told no is like a double dare to try harder. Just what kind of fucked up reasoning is that?
And love, feeling love, is that ever for real? Kisses that bring fireworks, does that mean anything? It's so unfair one side can see colors and the other - colorblind.
End of the story: ouch. Life brings pain & so does love. and now I sit alone.
A lucky single girl.
I've met several nice men over the last 5 years, all of whom I sent away. Let me right now apologize to all who relate.
It's a strange phenomenon when we want what we can't have. Being told no is like a double dare to try harder. Just what kind of fucked up reasoning is that?
And love, feeling love, is that ever for real? Kisses that bring fireworks, does that mean anything? It's so unfair one side can see colors and the other - colorblind.
End of the story: ouch. Life brings pain & so does love. and now I sit alone.
A lucky single girl.
Monday, January 09, 2006
hiding inside me
Funny, not like haha. I am finding I would rather read other blogs than update my own. What's up with that? Who the heck am I hiding from? I'm beginning to think it's me.
Today I went to court in support of my friend who is in trouble because he does things I don't support. Now how does that work? Actually, we're all in trouble for the smoky green stuff. Seems uncle sam still does not understand taxing marijuana would be a good thing, for the people, for the government & it's insatiable greed (need) of money. Anyway, me & my friends are being punished & unreasonably harassed, some of this which takes place in the court house.
Boone county courthouse: a big old building made to look all prestigious with it's marble stairway and ornate light fixtures. I can get lost just gazing at the ceiling and studying that beautiful detail.
And so, today's story was rather boring. Turns out his paid lawyer didn't really want to work & quit the case once he found it would be going to trial. I don't understand, it's a bullshit search warrant, full of lies & holes. How much work can it really entail? End of this chapter: it's all moved to another day down the line. On the upside; my suit looked great & gave me a much needed boost to my self esteem. I'm sure it can help me get a job.
Yes, optimism is a good thing.
Today I went to court in support of my friend who is in trouble because he does things I don't support. Now how does that work? Actually, we're all in trouble for the smoky green stuff. Seems uncle sam still does not understand taxing marijuana would be a good thing, for the people, for the government & it's insatiable greed (need) of money. Anyway, me & my friends are being punished & unreasonably harassed, some of this which takes place in the court house.
Boone county courthouse: a big old building made to look all prestigious with it's marble stairway and ornate light fixtures. I can get lost just gazing at the ceiling and studying that beautiful detail.
And so, today's story was rather boring. Turns out his paid lawyer didn't really want to work & quit the case once he found it would be going to trial. I don't understand, it's a bullshit search warrant, full of lies & holes. How much work can it really entail? End of this chapter: it's all moved to another day down the line. On the upside; my suit looked great & gave me a much needed boost to my self esteem. I'm sure it can help me get a job.
Yes, optimism is a good thing.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
update to forgotten men
Just in case anyone wonders, the lost man who called after all these years has found some young woman to keep him company. Says he picked her up by accident and has some story about....bla bla I forgot to listen. Anyway, it was a nice distraction to the other idiot who pretends he cares and then returns to his true love, a masked budweiser bottle.
My new found sobriety (Iowa law says no pot for me for 1 year) has lessened my tolerance for assholes on parade.
Someday someone who is emotionally available will discover what a gem I am & will beg me to spend my life with him. I'm looking forward to that fairytale, although I'm not sure I really believe it could happen.
My new found sobriety (Iowa law says no pot for me for 1 year) has lessened my tolerance for assholes on parade.
Someday someone who is emotionally available will discover what a gem I am & will beg me to spend my life with him. I'm looking forward to that fairytale, although I'm not sure I really believe it could happen.
old dreams for a new year
It's 2006. Wow. I sit here dreaming of a more perfect world. It seems I'm surrounded by idiots. Injustice permeates every inch of this world. We've tainted water, starving children, addiction run ramped, and everything hinges on money. Sad & evil. I can't be the only person who's heart bleeds sadness for our world. It's just so unfair.
One of my wishes is that I can make a difference before I move on (like up & out of this plain).
Things that hurt me so:
Addicted people cannot get help without money that they do not have.
Our politicians are totally missing the point.
Our silly president is not looking out for our best interest and rich people are plain & simple disconnected from reality by default of their money.
Huge corporations are eating up dollars and they don't care. PLEASE DON'T SHOP WALMART!!!!! Your money is your economic vote. We have to be diligent & pay attention. Poor people are being raped here!
Originally weren't police hired to make our cities a safer place? Printed on the side of police cars it used to say "to protect & serve" not harass & threaten.
When I was young I thought life was fair & people were kind. What the hell happened???
One of my wishes is that I can make a difference before I move on (like up & out of this plain).
Things that hurt me so:
Addicted people cannot get help without money that they do not have.
Our politicians are totally missing the point.
Our silly president is not looking out for our best interest and rich people are plain & simple disconnected from reality by default of their money.
Huge corporations are eating up dollars and they don't care. PLEASE DON'T SHOP WALMART!!!!! Your money is your economic vote. We have to be diligent & pay attention. Poor people are being raped here!
Originally weren't police hired to make our cities a safer place? Printed on the side of police cars it used to say "to protect & serve" not harass & threaten.
When I was young I thought life was fair & people were kind. What the hell happened???
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
